I love you

Jeffrey Winn Madsen loves me so much.

I first knew by the way he kissed me. Okay, I love kissing this man. I could start seeing his love for me in the small things. He would save the last of something for me, even though I knew he wanted it. He is notorious for saying "Sorry" first. He's more patient than I am.

And we loved kissing. Even when it wasn't our turn for one of the many kissing shots on this day, we were stealing a little something on the side.

We were just kids! I wouldn't go back and have it any other way.

Now I've learned to love Jeff even deeper by watching him be a daddy. He's loving and fun.

He's my best friend in the whole world.

He loves carrying on the little family traditions we've started.

And he's hot. Even in a goat pen, I couldn't keep my eyes off his hot self.

And then he helped me with our Twin Adventure.

See those tired eyes? A sure sign of a great husband and daddy. He loves his children & his wife so much.

He's eager to make our children feel special and individually important.
{Daddy-daughter activity for Activity Days}

This man tells me to go take a nap because he knows I've been sick, even when he returns from the night shift, having not slept in 30 hours. He tells me I need to get out and be alone, go buy something I want, or go put my feet up. But the amazing thing is, that then he grabs rags and a broom. He makes sure my children speak respectfully to their mother, and he stays with me to clean the kitchen, even when he has the go-ahead to sleep from work. This man ordered me 3 dozen flowers, told me to go shopping, and let me win at Boggle on Valentine's Day because he loves me. Don't think for even a second that he wasn't calculating his return on the evening, but he proved to me that he loved me, and that's what the perfect Valentine's Day means to me.

I love growing old with you, Jeff.

Capillary Hemangioma of the Cavernous Sinus

This is the reason I haven’t blogged for a while. Why doesn’t the spell checker recognize the word blogged? Get with it, already.

A few weeks ago, Carlie was talking with Jeff & me, and we noticed that one eye was continuously dilated while the other wasn’t. Even I know that this is bad, no matter how you look at it. Jeff had it at possibly a 3rd cranial nerve palsy… I cried for most of that day. He took her in for an MRI that night, and they didn’t see anything. The ophthalmologist on Monday didn’t agree, and wanted a higher resolution MRI done at the U of U. Carlie was so brave for both of her tests, which included getting IV’s… something she has vowed never to do again.

What they found was a hemangioma that is growing in the bone behind her eye, and pressing in on the muscles & nerves, causing her to lose the ability to focus & move her eye. If left untreated, she would lose her eye completely. It’s not malignant, thank heavens. There have only been 4 reported & treated cases of this, so she’s getting a lot of medical attention – her case is being presented at a national conference soon… talk about your 50 “second opinions.”

So far, we’ve been told that Carlie’s treatment will likely be a low-dose focused radiation, probably done at the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota. She is scared, but handling this very well. Her coping mechanisms have been very cute… for a few days, I overheard many things being compared to “her MRI” and she felt very important and brave.

Carlie brought some of her images to school to show everyone, and her explanation of what is going on is very cute, each time she tells it. At one point, she just curled up on my lap and cried, telling me she just was so scared and didn’t want to lose us. She has become very tender during this time, and shown a lot of maturity. We’ve also had some of our deepest, most meaningful talks about Heavenly Father’s plan, and life beyond this one. When her Grandpa Levie got into town, he and Grandpa Madsen assisted Jeff in giving her a special blessing. There is a lot of peace here. I can feel the hand of the Lord in our lives, and I know this will teach us, stretch us, humble us.

We would like to ask all of you to keep her and her doctors in your prayers, if you would.

Here’s my Car Car Booey:

Receiving her academic award in December