Saturday, December 5, 2009

Triage

When Jeff’s patients check into the ER, they’re triaged according to emergent need. You have to laugh at the people who put “head ache” as their symptom, because they’re going to get put at the bottom of the list, right?

Let’s see how I would fare if I reported any time in the last few weeks.

Symptoms I may be experiencing:

*Severe hunger
*Severe exhaustion
*Severe blah
*Perma-PMS
*Swelling in or around the abdomen
*Craving of random items of food:
-- chicken artichoke alfredo burrito
-- sourdough smoked turkey gouda artichoke Dijon sandwich
-- mozzarella pepperoni pineapple olive quesadilla
*Emotional response to such things as:
-- Ariel kisses daddy good-bye
-- Animal Planet – Lion taking care of gazelle baby
-- Primary lesson for 4 yr. olds on tithing
-- Climax of Halloween book read to 1st graders in class
-- Belle whispers, “I love you” just in time
-- Anakin digs Ahsoka out of the rubble against all odds
*Clear complexion
*Great hair
*General glow
*Ultrasonic tests show signs of alien life inside

Do I need help, or what?

Oh, and we’ve been shopping around. We’re going to go from the Black Pearl:


To something like these beautiful vehicles:

We’ll need this vehicle on or around June 25th.

Whaddayathink????

15 comments:

Christi said...

Okay can I just say that your "cravings" sound disgusting? I guess they are real cravings since they are so weird. I don't think mine qualify: pizza, icecream, and candy. :) Is this your first post saying your pregnant? If so-Congratulations! I am so happy for you and you get to drive a van-I'm sure you are thrilled! :) You are hilarious. I love that you listed the things you get emotional over. I have that problem too. :)

Unknown said...

Congratulations Melanie!

Courtney Ann said...

Oh my heck...FOR REAL!!! CONGRATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tara said...

Congratulations Melanie! Lol, that was such a great way to post it, I hope Jeff is providing all of those cravings for you :)

mad white woman said...

How fun! You must be as patient as your mom and with kids as cute as yours, how will you ever stop having them? :)

PS Cleverest way I've seen a pregnancy announced on a blog.

Company EIGHT said...

WAHOO!!!! Congratulations...I'm so excited for you!!!

myndie said...

congrats!!! emotional with the first grader's halloween book is pretty good! i am so excited for you. you have beautiful, happy kids and you are a wonderful mom...plus 7 is a lucky number, i'm number 7!

Boquinha said...

Oh my goodness! Congratulations! That's one of the "first impression" things I remember about you -- you saying that you and Jeff wanted to have a big family. You are well on your way! Are they sure there's only one in there? ;)

vpfam said...

Melanie!!!!! You always crack me up. You should be a professional columnist or something with all the extra time on your hands. Congrats on the upcoming new one!! Actually some of those foods sound pretty good to me...should I be afraid?

David and Jana said...

Sorry about your symptoms. It sounds like you're pregnant and you look good! :) We're SOOO happy for you!
I get all of those crying things except Anakin, you must be really pregnant.
I was trying to find a common theme in your cravings...they're just complicated, but they sound delicious. Maybe this one will be your chef, or have high maintenence taste.
Love the van. It looks complicated, too. :)

Rachel+Co said...

Seriously?! Congratulations. You are a gestating queen! And no question, those vans are so sexy.

I have nothing to blame my "severe blah" on (as you so eloquently called it).

I hope June 25th gets here real quick. Lot of love.

Aubrey said...

congratulations Melanie! Sounds wonderful! I love the great complexion and great hair symptoms. They are always my favorite!

misha~sha-sha said...

Wow...I'm sort of speechless. You are amazing! Congratulations to you guys. And Carly was so cute today in the 3rd grade program!

Jodie said...

Melanie, I got a little teary when I read the part about Arial saying goodbye to her father. I think I need help too!

Heather and Arik said...

Congratulations! You are so blessed to be having another baby! Our prayers will be with you!